So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
