just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
