forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm jealous of your bromance
We named our party play list daddy issues
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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