You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
