my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
