Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The adults are the big ones right?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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