apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He shit in the fireplace
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
