im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
