drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
