I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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