i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
