He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
