I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
there is glitter all over my balls
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