do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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