I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
