are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
