Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize