I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I want to make a zoo with you.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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