Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
