I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Panties = found
Randomize
