booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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