Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize