nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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