It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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