Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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