I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
