would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
