Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Congratulations! We have a period
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