Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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