Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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