so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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