508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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