no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
