im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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