Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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