You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
