it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
