physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
