I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize