it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize