First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
