The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
