If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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