We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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