My room smells like vodka and shame
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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