for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
whose ass print is on the piano?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
