I want to stick my p in your. b.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
