Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
