I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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