Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize