By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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