He had one of those small greek statue penises
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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