got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
