I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
