Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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