hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
