dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize