I am in a vortex of obligation.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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