No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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