I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
