He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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