We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My balls are so social today.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
