Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
